yes...

 

in the end...

When we're gone, will we be remembered for our kindness?

This is the question asked by Chuck Swindoll during one of his devotionals and it made me think about my Dad. He died on November 8, 2021, and it makes me sad to say that, in the end, he will not be remembered for his kindness as much as he will be for literally throwing me and my husband under the bus in 2013 because we questioned his choice of a second wife. Even at the end of his life, I didn't get the sense that he was sorry for how he had (mis)treated us. But we know that God knows what happened and how Dan and I left everything in the States behind -- retiring early from our jobs and leaving our children who were still in their early 20s and not fully ready for us to "abandon" them -- to go to Cebu and help my parents with their ministry. 

No matter our accomplishments in life -- real or perceived -- it really IS true that what really matters in the end is how we made our loved ones feel. And, although there are some good memories of my Dad, the last taste in my mouth remains bitter. What's even more sad is that he chose not to maintain a relationship with his 9 GREAT grandkids -- never once reaching out to them after his remarriage in 2012 until his death -- so they have nothing tangible to remember him by... That was a wasted opportunity... Even though I'm glad that he is now in heaven, I feel he lost out on living a life of significance with regards to this side of his family...
 

"If" by Rudyard Kipling