Sorting through boxes of our stuff that we've accumulated through the years, i came across this testimony that I shared at our former church, EL Church-Pasadena, sometime in 2008 just before Dan and I left to help my parents with their ministry in Cebu.
Webster's Dictionary defines "testimony" as an outward sign or evidence; an open acknowledgement and/or a public profession of religious experience." And when we as Christians are asked to give our personal testimony, we are publicly acknowledging our experience as a child of God. Just as we are all personally different and unique, our personal testimony of coming to know the Lord and our spiritual journey is also unique.
I was born a PK, preacher's kid, and 53 years later, I'm still a PK. Being a PK is both a burden and a blessing. It's a burden because there are expectations placed on a PK that no one else has. Because of my dad, I had to be in church every Sunday, at Wednesday night prayer meetings, Youth Camps, and ALL special church activities. This could really cramp your style as a teenager when you just want to hang out with your friends but couldn't have fun because you had to go to church...! But the blessing of having solid Christian friends from church who encouraged me in my walk with the Lord, who challenged me in my faith, far outweighed the burden.
I was 6 years old when I accepted Christ as my personal Savior during our nightly family devotions with my mother. I don't remember the exact date, although my Mom might. We were reading John Bunyan's "Pilgrim's Progress" and I remember being scared about going to hell and I knew that I had no choice but to make the decision to accept Jesus into my heart. Looking back on it now, it was really a no brainer for me. It really just made sense to pray that prayer of salvation because I really did feel like I had been a Christian all my life and that just seemed to be a natural next step in the process.
However, the disadvantages of being saved at such an early age also meant taking for granted the fact that this decision IS life-changing. When I read of people who come to the Lord at a later age, especially after "sowing" their wild oats, the transformation seems more dynamic. Also, the excitement of becoming a Christian after one has been an unbeliever for so long seems to be more tangible and evident to others around them. My maternal grandfather was a great example of this: He was a drunkard who became violent towards his wife and children when he was drunk. But when he came to the Lord, he stopped drinking immediately and the change was so evident in his life that no one could deny that God had totally changed him!
When I was 15, my dad was the missionary speaker at Camp Willabay in Wisconsin. It was during that summer that I joined the other campers in rededicating my life to the Lord, promising Him that I would go into full-time Christian service someday. Of course, I didn't know what that decision would entail and it wouldn't be until many years later that I would once again hear the call to serve the Lord full-time.
My high school years were spent at Faith Academy, a Christian school in Manila. During my sophomore, junior, and senior years, I was a member of the MadriGals & Guys, an exclusive singing group at Faith. We traveled all over the Philippines giving concerts and sharing the Good News of the Gospel. In March 1974, I graduated from Faith Academy and because the majority of the Madrigals & Guys were headed to the States for college, the powers that be decided that an overseas tour would be a good idea. So, off we went to Athens, Greece, to Germany, followed by Amsterdam and London, before landing in New York for the US leg of our tour. We traveled from Rhode Island to Illinois, singing almost every night and sometimes during the day at high schools and colleges along the way. If ever there was a highlight to my Christian experience, it would be those 3 months when my faith was tested, but I found encouragement and enjoyment in serving the Lord through music and sharing my faith with others. I experienced the greatest growth in my Christian life during this time because all of my focus was upon the ministry we were doing and being a good testimony for the Lord wherever we happened to be. It was a truly wonderful experience!
Unfortunately, that "spiritual" high was followed by many lows when I had to stay behind in Chicago at the end of the tour so I could earn some money before starting college at Trinity that fall. First, it was hard to be SO far away from my family. Second, working in a home for mentally challenged kids really tested my faith because I had never in my life been around kids who had so many problems and whose families had decided that they could no longer care for them, so they gave that responsibility to this home for the mentally handicapped. It was a truly eye-opening experience for me.
I thought things would be better once I was in school with fellow Christians, but my freshman year proved to be another low point for me spiritually. I was homesick. I was the ONLY Filipino in the whole college and often felt so alone. I remember writing my parents a long letter about my heartaches and telling them that I didn't think God could be a God of love if He allows us to suffer so much! Needless to say, I was very angry with God for most of my freshman year.
But God has a way of drawing us back to Himself. He allows those difficult times to come into our lives so that we will grow and mature and He brings people into our lives to encourage us to "keep the faith" and to trust in God's divine plan for our lives. My parents were especially instrumental in my coming back to the Lord because instead of condemning me for "hating" God, they just kept praying for me and their prayers and love and support during that very difficult year showed me that God really did care about me and that He has a wonderful plan for my life.
It's sad, but it's also a fact that being in a Christian college doesn't always strengthen your faith. It's very common for many college students to stray from their faith because of the excitement of being away from home and being independent for the first time. But, because of my parents' prayers and the Christian heritage in which I grew up and was blessed with, despite the backsliding, the many crises of faith that I experienced and the times of unfaithfulness, God, on the other hand, just continued to prove Himself faithful to me over and over again. I know that He protected me from myself and the unwise choices that I made. He protected me from people who might have wanted to harm me or influence me for evil and He did all that because He had something great in store for me. And--I firmly believe this--He continued to love and protect me because of that promise I had made when I was 15 to someday go into full-time Christian service.
My spiritual journey has not been a smooth one. I don't know of anyone whose journey to become a true child of God has not been marked with backsliding, hardships, testings, doubts, or fear. But I DO know this--God is faithful. God DOES know what He is doing in our lives and He will accomplish what He has divinely ordained for us, despite our backsliding, our unfaithfulness, our stubbornness. He continues to remain faithful to us.
But He also remembers those promises we made to Him. The promised I made when I was 15 to go into full-time Christian ministry was something I had not forgotten, although it was put on the back burner for quite awhile. God allowed me to take a 38 year break from that promise so that I could get married, have children, see my children grow up and live their own lives. But now I know God wants me to follow through on my promise to Him all those years ago. As my mother always reminds me, "God will collect, so don't make promises lightly to Him!" And now, I am ready to obey Him. It's not going to be easy. I have no idea what the future holds. But I know that GOD KNOWS the future and He has been faithful to me in the past and He will be faithful in the years to come.
Yes, there are many things about tomorrow that I can't see or understand, but I am confident that the One who knows the future holds my hand and will not leave me or forsake me.
