40 years on 12/12/2021

WOW!!! or YIKES!!!

Have we really been married that long???? When I was young, I don’t remember thinking I would be married these many years… and yet, here I am at 66, married for 40 years… it’s been quite a journey. Lots of ups and downs. Sometimes, we wondered if we would make it to the next year or even the next month or week or day 😊. Even though we’re both Filipinos, the fact that I was basically brought up as an American made us an inter-cultural couple and many adjustments needed to be made on a regular basis. Without the Lord holding our hands and being the 3^rd and most important leg in this relationship, I doubt that we would still be together. Seriously… We’ve dealt with the usual relationship issues—different perspectives on money, differing views on raising the kids and the number of kids we would have (he wanted 6!!!), the fact that I’m the first born and used to being in control versus the fact that he’s a typical male whose ego is easily bruised and i sometimes don’t have much patience for that... But, through the years, we’ve learned to meet each other halfway on most things and that has helped us stay together despite the difficulties and challenges—some of them doozies!--that we’ve had to endure.

His parents were married for 49 years before the Lord took his Dad home on January 30, 1999. My parents were married for 55 years before the Lord took my Mom home on January 2, 2010. We know that there is no guarantee that we will reach 49 or 55 years together. The Lord could choose to take one or both of us to heaven anytime… At this point in our marriage, making it one year at a time is already a major achievement since with each year that passes, the spark that brought us together sometimes seems to be dimming a little bit and it’s easy to take each other for granted…

But today is for celebrating making it this far – our RUBY anniversary – and for thanking God for the boundless mercy and love that He extends to us so that we can extend the same to each other. It’s also a day to show our kids and grandkids that it IS still possible to stay married for all these years. It’s not easy but it is doable. Today is especially important to look back and see what brought us together and just how far we’ve come, by the grace of God… 

So, here’s to us and to moving forward to our 50^th, if the Lord wills 😊

THE BEND IN THE ROAD

We’ve been living in Brooke’s Point, the southernmost point of the island of Palawan, since 2018. We retired from our jobs in the States and are here because this is where God has called us to start TEMI Bible School. TEMI (Telos Euarestos Ministries, Inc.) is the ministry which God gave to our son Justin in 2015. TEMI’s mission is to “train, strengthen and develop” the local church leaders so that they will have the necessary tools and biblical knowledge to do the work which God has given them to do in this part of the Philippines.

At least twice a month, Dan and I would take an 8 hour round trip drive from Brooke’s Point to Puerto Princesa to do our banking, buy groceries that we can’t get in Brooke’s, and/or just get away for a few hours. The highway from Brooke’s to Puerto is filled with many unexpected twists and turns and sometimes that “bend in the road” catches us by surprise with either a sharp turn, oncoming traffic unexpectedly in our lane, or a breathtaking view. 

As I thought about those unexpected twists on the road, I started to remember some “bends in the road” of my life that caught me by surprise and even made the difference in how my life turned out.

1972-1973

The first and most significant personal "bend in the road" for me happened in 1972-1973. I was 17, a junior at Faith Academy in Cainta, Rizal (Philippines) and I had fallen in love with the proverbial "boy next door."

He was 19 and already in college. He lived at the Far East Broadcasting Company (FEBC) compound where his parents worked which was next door to FEBIAS (college) where I lived and where my Dad was president at the time. Although very busy with school and my extra-curricular activities, namely Madrigals and Guys (high school singing group), softball, National Honor Society events, my life at home revolved around this boy who literally made my heart skip a beat every time I saw him. I guess you could say he was my first serious boyfriend and I believe I was his first serious girlfriend. 

Every night after dinner when my parents would return to their offices to do more work, I would leave the house to spend a few hours with him. We would just walk around FEBC compound and talk or hang out with our friends. Those were such fun, carefree days!! I would need to return home before 9, however, when my parents would also return from their offices. That was also the time when the gate that separates our two compounds would be locked. There were a few times, though, when I was late and would have to climb over the gate. The FEBIAS security guard would whistle at me to stop until he realized it was the President’s daughter!

During this time, as a junior in high school, I was preparing myself for college. My ONLY choice was Trinity College in Deerfield, Illinois. We had lived in Deerfield from 1965 to 1969 when my parents were studying at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School (TEDS) working on their Master of Theology (Dad) and Master of Christian Education (Mom) degrees. Deerfield and the campus of Trinity College and TEDS was a wonderful place in which to grow up and I had made it my singular goal to return there for college. 

All this time, however, I kept my relationship with this boy a secret from my parents, although my siblings knew about us. For awhile they kept my secret, until one night at dinner, my brother blurted out that I had a boyfriend! My dad was very angry and he offered me an ultimatum:  If I wanted to attend Trinity College, I would have to give up my boyfriend. If I didn't give him up, my Dad would make me study at FEBIAS. Now, FEBIAS is a good school and it would probably have been good for me to study there, but I had had my heart set on going to Trinity since... forever and I just couldn't give up that dream? With a heavy heart, I decided to choose Trinity over the boy I loved...

I waited until after Valentine's Day -- and before my 18th birthday which was in March -- to break up with him. I don't remember if I told him about the ultimatum my Dad had given me -- I don't think I did. By this time, I had heard rumors about him and other girls that he might have been seeing while he was at school, so I used that as my reason for breaking up with him. To this day, he denies that he was cheating on me, but I will never know. He was understandably angry at me and for YEARS, he refused to have anything to do with me. I totally understand his reaction and missed him a lot, but I just couldn't let go of my dream. So, at that particular "bend in the road," I chose my college dream over my dream guy.

That, however, would not be the end of our story...

as i begin year 66 here on earth...

I find myself thinking back on this blessed and full life that God has given me. It is to Him that I give back all praise and glory for everything that He has done! None of it is of my own making -- He alone deserves all the glory!!

He gave me the privilege of having godly parents in Drs Gadiel and the late Marge Alcala Isidro. As the eldest of their 3 children (4 if you count the brother who was miscarried), i'm sure i was the guinea pig but also the start of their great adventure in parenthood. although my siblings and i are far from each other (in more ways than one), i'm grateful for them and the lessons i learned from them about being part of a team (especially since we sang and played our instruments together -- trumpet for Rey, clarinet for Bev, and saxophone for me -- when our Dad would preach in different churches in the Midwest when we lived in Deerfield, IL from 1965 to 1970) and learning to love each other despite our differences.

i'd like to give a shout out to my cousins on my Dad's side--Liza and Vera Pepito-- who remain my favorites to this day and those on my Mom's side who i spent time with when i was younger--Kuya Boy, the late Warren, Jocelyn, Jackeline, and Wilbert Wee. and to the Alcala cousins i've connected with in recent years, either in person or through FB--the Montiels, the Castandiellos, the Ricaforts, the many Alcalas in Mindanao. i hope to someday meet them all in person but, if not, we will meet for sure in that land where no one says goodbye :-) 

i thought my childhood was pretty magical. i'm sure there were hard times, especially since we were very poor, but they don't overwhelm my memory bank :-) i don't remember my childhood friends when we lived in Cebu (ages 0-5) but i've heard stories about my siblings and i playing with MKs (missionary kids) and speaking English even at a young age (at my Mom's insistence). i do remember my childhood friends when we moved to FEBIAS (ages 5-10 and 15 to 19)--Fely and Jean Majo, Frances Siodora, the Gusto kids, and the MKs whose parents were with the mission organization formerly known as FEGC, like Sue Bedell, the late Larry Haglund... Then there were my friends from Caloocan Bible Church where my Dad was pastor for several years--Jem Apelar and his sister Faith who is now with the Lord, the Guingons, Jessica Fernandez, the Nieuwsmas, the Chatas, Butch Soriano, the Ronquillo sisters. There are my close friends from in and around the two compounds of FEBIAS and FEBC--Em Perez, Ali Aguarino, Robyn Reynolds, Lynette Tackett, Abe Navarette, Janet Gay... A significant part of my teen years was spent at Faith Academy where many of the friendships formed during those 4 years are still very dear to me -- Angela Simpson, Joel Eyestone, Leah Eaton, Becky Costerisan, Bill Ebert, the late John Carvey, just to name a few! 4 years at Trinity College (now International University) brought additional special people into my life -- Ruth Geisler, Alex Shu, Debbie Christensen, Steve Pruett, David Murphy, Greg Tasker, Bob Depuy, Sheryll Barker, Linda Thompson, Sharon Rose James.

special mention must be made of my 2nd family -- the Lacanilaos, especially Ester, my mother-in-law, my brothers-in-law, Kuya Sam, Norman, Bhe, their spouses -- Ate Myrna, Malou, and Cindy -- and my nieces -- Kaye (husand Tom), Trisha, Esther Ruth -- and nephews -- Nate (wife Angela), Steve (wife Jeng), Paulo, Jonathan, and Miko. they bring me much joy and i thank God for giving them to me through my wonderful husband Dan!! 

looking back on 66 years makes me realize just how RICH and FULL my life has been so far. obviously, life hasn't been the proverbial bed of roses -- my own family of 3 kids, their spouses, and 9 grandkids has been through some traumatic episodes -- but, i thank God for His love and mercy, for keeping us safe from harm and danger, for providing for all our needs, for helping us stay close to Him. God TRULY has been very good to me and to my family. That's why, as long as I have breath and my body holds up, I will follow Him wherever He leads. Right now, He has led us to a ministry in Palawan with TEMI (Telos Euarestos Ministries, Inc). With His help, we are praying that we can complete the task that He has given us there in Brooke's Point with TEMI Bible School and that He will provide for someone to take over when we're no longer able to travel back and forth from the States.

I don't know how many more years God will give me on this earth, but while I'm alive and kicking, i want to always live in a way that glorifies and points people to Him. i know i fail often at this, but He is merciful and loving and continues to give me "second" chances. That is just too awesome to comprehend or understand! But, I've found that living for Him and following Him is the only way to live one's life here on earth... And when it's time for me to go home, I want to go singing, "Jesus led me all the way. Led me step by step each day. I will tell the saints and angels as i lay my burden down, Jesus led me all the way."

it's best to accept this reality as soon as you possibly can...

 

i couldn't resist...

 cuz this is priceless!!!!

yes!!!

 

6 days before my 66th...