my kids & letting go

from the moment ashley, justin & erin were born, i knew i had found my calling in life! i absolutely adored being a mother!

ashley was born when i was 25. it was such an easy birth and she was such a joy to take care of that i knew i would want more children after her. as the first grandchild born in my family, everyone doted on her, but she wasn't a spoiled kid, just loved by many because of her lovely smile, compassionate nature & ability to make friends easily!! I’ve always thought that, despite what I was personally going through at that time, God surprised our family by giving Ashley to us in September (my dad’s birth month), on the 29th (same day as my mom’s, only hers is in January)…!

during one of our annual wedding anniversary trips to baguio, dan and i were talking about what we would name our son, if God were to give us one. i remember telling him that i wanted to name him after his dad because i absolutely adored his father who was such a gentle and godly man, so we decided on justin daniel. our joy at having a son in 1983 knew no bounds and justin did not disappoint with his easy smile & laidback attitude. justin was like his paternal grandfather when he was a child, but has now become like my dad as he's grown older -- a man of vision and great plans for the Lord! that has been a wonderful surprise for me!

erin was an unexpected surprise in 1985. this was also an easy pregnancy, but little did we know that she was way off her due date (early april) because the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck. we didn't know this until i was in the OR, ready to deliver, and my OB realized that she was in distress. consenting immediately to a c-section, it wasn't until the umbilical cord was cut right at my belly button that we realized how easily we could have lost her. being the youngest, erin had the privilege of an older sister and brother who took very good care of her. and being most like me in temperament, I found it easy to dote on this intelligent & winsome child that God had blessed us with.

when the kids were growing up, we did everything together. i wanted them to have the same love for travel that i had and because we had to travel back and forth to the states every year, that was easily accomplished and they did become great international travellers! ashley has been across the pacific more than 20 times!! justin started his over-the-pacific trips when he was only 7 months old and erin when she was 8 months!! we took many shorter trips once we settled in the states:   monterey, san francisco, san diego, and even that whirlwind 10 day cross country trip through 13 states in november 1994 that NONE of us will ever forget!! my wish is that someday, we'll all be able to travel to maybe greece & england together, places i visited when i was 19 and on tour with the MADS, and which i would love to enjoy and appreciate with my kids and grandkids. someday...

I wanted them to have my love of music, so they were involved in musicals early on. Ashley even performed at manila’s phil-am life auditorium when she was 9 as a member of FEBC’s “A, Basta!” production. And, surprise of all surprises!, I was even able to teach them to appreciate my love of COUNTRY music, esp songs by Randy Travis!!

but, with this trip to cebu, coming with us was no longer an option. both erin & justin are now married, each with a child of their own, & ashley is finishing up her RT course. plus, they have their own lives to lead now and dan and i have this new direction in which God has led us. even though i know all this, sunday night, 6/15, @ LAX was sad -- lots of tears and hugs and "see you in december!" i was leaving my babies behind... they will always be my babies, precious lives that were entrusted to my care by the God who trusted me to handle them with love that they deserved. and now, it was time for them to move on without us.

many hours later, i found myself crying on the plane, thinking about having to say goodbye and not being able to see them again until december. but, i also realized that we have done our part and it was time for them to move on without us constantly by their side. they're all adults now and more than capable of taking care of themselves and especially of making decisions that will glorify the Lord. i am looking forward to many surprises from God on their behalf!!

It was a few days later that i was pleasantly surprised to receive this email below from mark (caes), dan's cousin, who was also justin & gina's ninong at their wedding last july. he was responding to my request to call the kids every now and then to make sure they're doing OK. i will be forever grateful for his kind and caring words which greatly strengthened my heart. How blessed we are to have someone so caring like mark (and mabel) to stand in the gap for us!!

Don't worry, Ate Sharon! I will keep an eye, ear and nose on them. In fact, Justin and I have a dinner date with his family @ our house on June 30th when we get back after the choir retreat that week to feed off from each other re: his perspective on the ministry. Thanks for entrusting them to our care.

Please feel free to ask me anything re: your kids. I know how u feel. Much of my early adult life were spent living apart from my parents. I came here in the States when I was 19 years old and had to fend for myself to "survive". I am now 44 years old this day, exactly. I did cherish those "growing-up" years cause through it, I learned to trust God outside the comforts and direct supervision of my loving parents. The years spent apart from my parents brought indelible life lessons for me which brought me to maturity real quick. But never did I feel that I was abandoned by my parents because we communicated often with each other. Most of all, we kept each other close to heart in prayer.

Your kids are great, Ate Sharon! You and Kuya Dan are to be commended for the parental duties that you have faithfully performed. Your job is done. Your kids manifest your ideals and outlook in life and by just seeing and knowing them, you and Kuya Dan did an awesome job! Like me, I am sure your kids will recall the spiritual values that you have instilled in them in their formative years. So that when important decisions in life come, they will decide for themselves the best scenario that God has placed in their path. Each of them are ready to face challenges on their own. They are more than ready to stretch their "wings" and "soar" to greater heights. But, it would also take great pains for you to let go of them and entrust them completely in the loving care of our Heavenly Father.

You and Kuya Dan face a complete paradigm shift in your new vocation - a new "calling," albeit an exciting one where God has brought you. God Bless you both as you serve Him faithfully!