for the past few weeks, during my down times or when i just need to "chill," i have been indulging in my current guilty pleasure -- watching the beginning episodes of "gilmore girls." i just finished seasons 1 to 4 and will now have to wait until i get back to the states to buy seasons 5 to the finale...! maybe someone will buy me the rest of the series as a Christmas gift... :-)
anyway, at the end of season 2, lorelai gilmore, played by lauren graham, the single mother in the series, makes the statement about wanting "the whole package" -- a husband, a family, the white picket fence... and that made me think... if ashley and i had gone through life together--just the 2 of us like lorelai & rory gilmore--would i have eventually asked that same question of myself? maybe...? eventually...? what i do know is that once ashley was born and i saw this beautiful child whose entire existence depended on me, i knew that i could go through life taking care of ashley on my own, if that's what God had planned for me.
but, God DID have other plans for me and for ashley. without me doing anything about it, God was working in dan's heart as to what was the right thing for him to do in our situation. and during one of his yearly trips to the Philippines, when ashley was 6 months old, God allowed my dad the opportunity to bring ashley's album with him to show to dan and dan's parents. this man who had not wanted me to keep the baby could no longer deny that ashley was his child once he saw her pictures. after that, it was simply a matter of time before i found myself agreeing to marry dan. in hindsight, i really should have asked more questions of dan and his commitment to me and ashley. i should have waited a little longer before setting a wedding date. but, God knew what He was doing and through the years, i have learned to trust Him during those life-changing decisions.
so, in the end, God DID give me "the whole package." it hasn't been an easy road and there have been many bumps along the way (although those bumps are what we climb on), but i'm thankful for the life that God has given me. i'm thankful for the hard and sad times and the wonderful & great times. i really wouldn't trade what i've gone through because all of those experiences have made me the person that i am today. God has been very good to me and i will do everything i can to be worthy of His goodness to me and to my family.
anyway, at the end of season 2, lorelai gilmore, played by lauren graham, the single mother in the series, makes the statement about wanting "the whole package" -- a husband, a family, the white picket fence... and that made me think... if ashley and i had gone through life together--just the 2 of us like lorelai & rory gilmore--would i have eventually asked that same question of myself? maybe...? eventually...? what i do know is that once ashley was born and i saw this beautiful child whose entire existence depended on me, i knew that i could go through life taking care of ashley on my own, if that's what God had planned for me.
but, God DID have other plans for me and for ashley. without me doing anything about it, God was working in dan's heart as to what was the right thing for him to do in our situation. and during one of his yearly trips to the Philippines, when ashley was 6 months old, God allowed my dad the opportunity to bring ashley's album with him to show to dan and dan's parents. this man who had not wanted me to keep the baby could no longer deny that ashley was his child once he saw her pictures. after that, it was simply a matter of time before i found myself agreeing to marry dan. in hindsight, i really should have asked more questions of dan and his commitment to me and ashley. i should have waited a little longer before setting a wedding date. but, God knew what He was doing and through the years, i have learned to trust Him during those life-changing decisions.
so, in the end, God DID give me "the whole package." it hasn't been an easy road and there have been many bumps along the way (although those bumps are what we climb on), but i'm thankful for the life that God has given me. i'm thankful for the hard and sad times and the wonderful & great times. i really wouldn't trade what i've gone through because all of those experiences have made me the person that i am today. God has been very good to me and i will do everything i can to be worthy of His goodness to me and to my family.
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