our parents have known each other since before we were both born. but, we didn't personally know each other until i was 17 and a junior @ faith academy. he was 19 and in college and working part-time at FEBC. we became friends through mutual friends, em perez and ali aguarino. that friendship grew into something more and i ended up being his first girlfriend.
it was a very intense and lovely relationship, but it was also a secret from my parents. they did not want any of their children being involved with anyone while we were still in school. my parents at that time were the president of FEBIAS College of Bible and the head of the Christian Education department. they were workaholics, so, every night after dinner, they would head back to their offices and when i thought it was "safe," i would head over to the FEBC compound and hang out with em and ali and anyone else who might be out and wait for dan to come home from school.
during those days following martial law, the gate between FEBC and FEBIAS would close @ 9pm. there were many times that i would find myself having to climb over the fence to make it back home before my parents... a couple of times, the guard would catch me climbing over but when he saw it was the president's daughter, he would just smile and turn the other way...
of course, a secret can never remain a secret for long and my parents found out about dan (through my brother, i think) and there was a "family meeting" during dinner and about what to do with this situation. eventually, my dad gave me the ultimatum: keep the boyfriend and study at FEBIAS or lose the boyfriend and go to the States for college. what a dilemma!! but, my dad knew my heart. he knew that i had been working so hard at Faith and waiting for 4 years to return to the states and study there, so, even though it was hard to let go of love, in the end, it was a no-brainer for me.
by that time also, dan and i had started to drift apart and i was hearing rumors about his extracurricular activities while he was at school in manila. he denied the rumors, but i didn't want to get hurt in case they were true, so i broke off with him.
i graduated from faith in 1974 and left for the states to go on tour with the MADS and study at trinity college in deerfield, IL. after i was already in the states, for some reason, dan started corresponding with me. at that time, he was already in a relationship with a mutual friend of ours, but, it was nice to have him back as a friend. and when i decided to return to the philippines for a visit in december 1979, he was one of the few people that i wanted to see again. maybe it was for closure. maybe it was to make sure that he didn't hate me anymore. but, what i didn't anticipate was the intensity of my feelings for this man after being away for almost 5 years.
during that visit, dan took me out to dinner several times. when i asked about his girlfriend, he told that they were no longer together. i would have NEVER gone out with him if i knew he was still involved with someone else. we had great talks and i felt that we were able to get things from our past resolved. those times together endeared him to me and things ended up moving to the next level and when i left to return to CA, i was already pregnant with ashley.
what i didn't know until i was back in the states was that the girlfriend DID NOT know that she and dan were "on a break." and after she found out that i was pregnant, she called me from manila to tell me to get rid of the baby -- for dan's sake. she even had the gall to tell me that she and dan were getting married (according to dan, he didn't know about these plans) and i shouldn't do anything to complicate their plans. i was livid! how dare she tell me what to do with my life!! if i had been on the fence about what to do with the baby (i wasn't!), that phone call would have definitely made me choose to keep the baby.
i really had no clue where my life would lead after that point. true, i had screwed up badly, but i was not willing to cover up my transgression by having an abortion. that was just NOT in my emotional makeup. my parents eventually came around and forgave me and ashley's birth and presence in our family was one of pure joy! of all the things i'd ever done in my life up to that point, giving ashley to my parents as their first grandchild was THE BEST!
deciding to keep ashley was also what eventually brought dan and i together again. of course, we know that God had planned our marriage from the beginning. but, we had stubbornly decided to do things "our way" and He allowed us to. however, when i look back at the almost 28 years of marriage, through all the ups and downs, it is only through God's love and compassion for us that we are still together after all these years.
could i have married someone else? sure. would he have been the best for me? not sure. of course, i'll never know now, will i?!! seriously, God gave dan to me and i will always be grateful for that. despite what we've been through, i dearly love this man and i'm grateful that he loves me back, despite my shortcomings (and he knows them all!!)...
so, here's a toast to you, daniel m. lacanilao, the love of my life!! may God give you MANY more years to enjoy your wonderful kids and their significant others, your awesome grandkids, me (!), and even more years to serve our God who loves you SO MUCH more than any of us could ever love you!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! LOVE ALWAYS!!
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