for my kids... when i'm gone...

If It Brings You Comfort - Keep It!

Even after your loved one is gone, their clothes may hang neatly in the closet, bookshelves may be arranged just as they left them, toothbrush and razor still in the bathroom.

Sorting through these objects, however inanimate or innocuous, can be particularly difficult when you're grief-stricken.

When the emotional element of loss is added to what to do with these items it can become increasingly difficult and stressful to make a decision.

My advice... when in doubt... keep it! You can never get it back once it’s gone. Grief has so much pain already, why add to it by regretting giving something away before you're ready?

Give yourself all the time you need. Set aside time to decide what to do with your loved one's belongings when you're feeling mentally and physically strong enough to make decisions.

Here's the thing... if it brings you comfort... keep it!

If an item is no longer serving you consider donating it or giving it to someone who may appreciate having a keepsake of your loved one.

The process of dealing with a loved one's belongings is so personal. What works best for you is the only plan that will work.

Hold on to everything you're not yet ready to part with or make a decision about, but when it comes time to select which items to keep, choose what you want to live with, enjoy and appreciate.

The things you keep should bring joy to your life and should make you smile. They should make you think of your loved one with happiness when you see them. If they bring you painful memories (like all those medical supplies stacked in the corner of the bedroom), toss them!

Some people have a “just donate everything and move on” personality and others have an “I need to keep everything” personality, and that's okay. Everyone's grief is unique to them and how they process it is a personal decision. There's no right or wrong way to do it.

It's up to you... and only you... what to keep... and what to give away.

Gary Sturgis - "Surviving Grief"

because we are now entering the twilight years...

 🚩 Between age 55 and the time of death, it is advisable to use the money you have saved. Use it and enjoy it. Don't save it for those who have no idea the sacrifices you made to obtain it. Remember, there's nothing more revolting than a son or daughter-in-law coming up with great ideas to spend your hard-earned savings.

🚩 Warning: This is also a bad time for investments, even if it sounds wonderful or safe. They only bring problems and worries. It's time for you to enjoy life.

🚩 Stop worrying about your children and grandchildren's financial situation, and don't feel bad about spending your money on yourself. You cared for them for many years, and taught them what you can. You gave them education, food, shelter and support. It's now their responsibility to make their own money.

🚩 Keep a healthy life, without much physical effort. Do moderate exercise (like walking every day), eat well and sleep plenty. It's easy to get sick at this age and it becomes harder to stay healthy. This is why you need to stay fit and be mindful of your medical and physical needs. Stay in touch with your doctor, get medical checkups even when you think you are feeling good. Please take care of your health.

🚩 Always buy the best, the most beautiful items to treat yourself. The key is to enjoy your money with your partner. One day, one of you will miss the other, and money will not bring you any comfort; so, enjoy it together.

🚩 Don't stress over the small things. You have overcome so much in life. You have good memories and bad memories, but what matters is the present. Don't let the past train you and don't let the future intimidate you. Must feel good in the present.

🚩 Don't lose sight of fashion trends for your age but keep your own sense of style.
You have developed your own sense of what suits you, so keep it and be proud of yourself. It is part of who you are.

🚩 Always stay up to date: read newspapers, follow the news. Go online and read what people are saying. Make sure you have an active e-mail account and try to use some of those social media. You'll be surprised by the old friends you run into.

🚩 Respect the young generation and their opinions. They may not have the same ideas as you, but they are the future and will take the world on their way. Give advice, not criticize, and try to remind them that yesterday's wisdom still applies today. Never use the phrase: "In our time." "Your time is now." As long as you’re alive, you’re part of the present.

🚩 Some people embrace their golden years, while others become bitter. Life is too short to waste days on sad moments. Spend your time with positive and joyful people and your days will look much better.

🚩 Don’t stress about having to live with your kids or grandkids. Of course, being around family seems great, but we all need our privacy, too. They need theirs and you need yours. Do it only if you feel lonely and really need help or you really don't want to live alone.

🚩 Don't give up your hobbies. If you don't have one, make new ones. You can travel, hike, cook, read, dance. You can adopt a cat or dog, grow a kitchen garden, play cards, checkers, chess, dominoes, golf, etc.

🚩 Talk to people politely and try not to complain or criticize too much, unless you really need it. Try to accept situations as they are when you feel you can't do anything about it.

🚩 Pain and discomfort go hand in hand with age. Try not to dwell on those hurts but accept them as part of life.

🚩 If someone has offended you, forgive them. If you have offended anyone, apologize. Don't carry negative feelings around. It only serves to make you sad and destroy you needlessly. No matter who was right. Someone once said: "Holding a grudge is like eating poison and expecting the other person to die." Don't take this poison. Forgive, forget and move on with your life.

🚩 Laugh. Remind yourself you are blessed. You've managed to have a long life.
Many never make it to this age and some never get to live.

My dear friends, enjoy a quiet life at this stage in your life... Don't stress yourself out... be happy!!!