Monday, October 9, 2023

for my kids... when i'm gone...

If It Brings You Comfort - Keep It!

Even after your loved one is gone, their clothes may hang neatly in the closet, bookshelves may be arranged just as they left them, toothbrush and razor still in the bathroom.
Sorting through these objects, however inanimate or innocuous, can be particularly difficult when you're grief-stricken.
When the emotional element of loss is added to what to do with these items it can become increasingly difficult and stressful to make a decision.
My advice... when in doubt... keep it! You can never get it back once it’s gone. Grief has so much pain already, why add to it by regretting giving something away before you're ready?
Give yourself all the time you need. Set aside time to decide what to do with your loved one's belongings when you're feeling mentally and physically strong enough to make decisions.

Here's the thing... if it brings you comfort... keep it!
If an item is no longer serving you consider donating it or giving it to someone who may appreciate having a keepsake of your loved one.
The process of dealing with a loved one's belongings is so personal. What works best for you is the only plan that will work.
Hold on to everything you're not yet ready to part with or make a decision about, but when it comes time to select which items to keep, choose what you want to live with, enjoy and appreciate.
The things you keep should bring joy to your life and should make you smile. They should make you think of your loved one with happiness when you see them. If they bring you painful memories (like all those medical supplies stacked in the corner of the bedroom), toss them!
Some people have a “just donate everything and move on” personality and others have an “I need to keep everything” personality, and that's okay. Everyone's grief is unique to them and how they process it is a personal decision. There's no right or wrong way to do it.
It's up to you... and only you... what to keep... and what to give away.

Gary Sturgis - "Surviving Grief"

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