for dan...

dan turns 56 today, so it seems appropriate to share something about this man who has been a part of my life since i was 17.

our parents have known each other since before we were both born. but, we didn't personally know each other until i was 17 and a junior @ faith academy. he was 19 and in college and working part-time at FEBC. we became friends through mutual friends, em perez and ali aguarino. that friendship grew into something more and i ended up being his first girlfriend.

it was a very intense and lovely relationship, but it was also a secret from my parents. they did not want any of their children being involved with anyone while we were still in school. my parents at that time were the president of FEBIAS College of Bible and the head of the Christian Education department. they were workaholics, so, every night after dinner, they would head back to their offices and when i thought it was "safe," i would head over to the FEBC compound and hang out with em and ali and anyone else who might be out and wait for dan to come home from school.

during those days following martial law, the gate between FEBC and FEBIAS would close @ 9pm. there were many times that i would find myself having to climb over the fence to make it back home before my parents... a couple of times, the guard would catch me climbing over but when he saw it was the president's daughter, he would just smile and turn the other way...

of course, a secret can never remain a secret for long and my parents found out about dan (through my brother, i think) and there was a "family meeting" during dinner and about what to do with this situation. eventually, my dad gave me the ultimatum: keep the boyfriend and study at FEBIAS or lose the boyfriend and go to the States for college. what a dilemma!! but, my dad knew my heart. he knew that i had been working so hard at Faith and waiting for 4 years to return to the states and study there, so, even though it was hard to let go of love, in the end, it was a no-brainer for me.

by that time also, dan and i had started to drift apart and i was hearing rumors about his extracurricular activities while he was at school in manila. he denied the rumors, but i didn't want to get hurt in case they were true, so i broke off with him.

i graduated from faith in 1974 and left for the states to go on tour with the MADS and study at trinity college in deerfield, IL. after i was already in the states, for some reason, dan started corresponding with me. at that time, he was already in a relationship with a mutual friend of ours, but, it was nice to have him back as a friend. and when i decided to return to the philippines for a visit in december 1979, he was one of the few people that i wanted to see again. maybe it was for closure. maybe it was to make sure that he didn't hate me anymore. but, what i didn't anticipate was the intensity of my feelings for this man after being away for almost 5 years.

during that visit, dan took me out to dinner several times. when i asked about his girlfriend, he told that they were no longer together. i would have NEVER gone out with him if i knew he was still involved with someone else. we had great talks and i felt that we were able to get things from our past resolved. those times together endeared him to me and things ended up moving to the next level and when i left to return to CA, i was already pregnant with ashley.

what i didn't know until i was back in the states was that the girlfriend DID NOT know that she and dan were "on a break." and after she found out that i was pregnant, she called me from manila to tell me to get rid of the baby -- for dan's sake. she even had the gall to tell me that she and dan were getting married (according to dan, he didn't know about these plans) and i shouldn't do anything to complicate their plans. i was livid! how dare she tell me what to do with my life!! if i had been on the fence about what to do with the baby (i wasn't!), that phone call would have definitely made me choose to keep the baby.

i really had no clue where my life would lead after that point. true, i had screwed up badly, but i was not willing to cover up my transgression by having an abortion. that was just NOT in my emotional makeup. my parents eventually came around and forgave me and ashley's birth and presence in our family was one of pure joy! of all the things i'd ever done in my life up to that point, giving ashley to my parents as their first grandchild was THE BEST!

deciding to keep ashley was also what eventually brought dan and i together again. of course, we know that God had planned our marriage from the beginning. but, we had stubbornly decided to do things "our way" and He allowed us to. however, when i look back at the almost 28 years of marriage, through all the ups and downs, it is only through God's love and compassion for us that we are still together after all these years.

could i have married someone else? sure. would he have been the best for me? not sure. of course, i'll never know now, will i?!! seriously, God gave dan to me and i will always be grateful for that. despite what we've been through, i dearly love this man and i'm grateful that he loves me back, despite my shortcomings (and he knows them all!!)...

so, here's a toast to you, daniel m. lacanilao, the love of my life!! may God give you MANY more years to enjoy your wonderful kids and their significant others, your awesome grandkids, me (!), and even more years to serve our God who loves you SO MUCH more than any of us could ever love you!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! LOVE ALWAYS!!

Happy 24th birthday, Erinleigh Lacanilao Baldivia!!

24 years ago today, God blessed us with beautiful Erinleigh!! i still remember being in the hospital, hooked up to a machine that monitored Erin's heartbeat and wondering why the heartbeat would start out strong and then disappear. When Dr Francisco informed me that Erin was in distress and that he suggested an emergency caesarean otherwise we might lose her, I did not hesitate to say "go for it," although i really didn't want to go through an operation.

After getting Dan's approval for the operation, they wheeled me in to the OR and made me curl my body up so they could give me the anesthesia. i remember being surrounded by many interns and hearing Dr Francisco tell me that he did not want to make a long cut, so he asked this HUGE intern to push down on my chest to force Erin out...! i could see all this happening and so could Dan from the adjoining room, but it was really strange NOT to feel it...! when Erin came out, that's when we found out that the umbilical cord was wound so tightly around her neck that, if i had insisted on vaginal delivery, she would have suffocated trying to get out of the birth canal. Dr Francisco saved Erin's life and I will be forever grateful to him for his wisdom in correctly assessing the situation. Dr Francisco is a legend in the Manila medical world who is now enjoying the fruits of his labor for God in heaven...

So, today i rejoice in this beautiful child who is now a beautiful and godly woman -- a precious gift from God who continues to amaze us with her love for others and for God! Happy, happy birthday, wonderful Erinleigh!! May God bless you with MANY more happy and productive years!!

Random Notes About Me...

1. I was born in Cebu's Community Hospital.


2. At the age of 6, our family moved to Manila where my parents taught @ FEBIAS College of Bible.


3. At the age of 10, our family went to the States so my parents could study at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School in Deerfield, IL.


4. in 1974, I was back in Deerfield, IL to study @ Trinity College (now International University)


5. Our family traveled between the Philippines and the US via the American President Lines: in 1965 (Manila to Oakland, CA on President Wilson) and in 1969 (Oakland, CA to Manila on President Cleveland)


6. At 17, i was made to choose between my then-boyfriend (who became my husband anyway!) and studying in the States: i chose the States!


7. Began playing the piano at the age of 6; was accompanying worship service @ 10


8. Directed my first adult choir at the age of 17 (Caloocan Bible Church) when our choir director, Mr Haglund, went back to States on furlough


9. Became a MADS "sappy sophomore soprano" in 1972, along with Yvonne Cadd, Angela Simpson, Leah Eaton & Debbie Marocco


10. Favorite country during MADS' 1974 tour: GREECE


11. County I would most love to visit with my husband, kids & grandkids: IRELAND


12. Because of my rough freshman year at Trinity, my father resigned as President of FEBIAS College of Bible so that he and my mom could be with my siblings and me as we studied in the States. Many years later, dan and i did the same thing -- in reverse: we stayed in the states until all our children had graduated and were doing OK on their own


13. Majored in Psychology @ Trinity


14. During my senior year @ Trinity, a visiting professor of Telecommunications suggested that I pursue Communications and work for him @ NBC-Chicago. I was so tired from studying that I said "no." Definitely one of my "regrets"


15. Married in Baguio City


16. From 1982 to 1988, traveled every January to the US to stay for 1 month in order to retain green card status


17. Was a newscaster for DZFE & DZAS (Manila) in the mid to late 1980's


18. Was the late night news anchor @ GMA-Channel 7 in Manila, paired with Jimmy Gil; Took Tina Monzon-Palma's place for 1 week doing primetime news while she was on assignment in China


19. Responsible for developing the FDA (Funds Disbursement Authorization) program at Kaiser Permanente, a project given to me by my boss, Ben Rojas, the Asst Regional Controller for Kaiser-Southern CA. Kaiser is still using the process!!


20. Became a US citizen in 2007, 33 years after receiving my green card!


21. Asked to write the foreword to my friend Victoria Darragh's 2nd book on Healing for the Broken-hearted


22. Knows that I am what I am by the grace of God and that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"


23. Am thankful for lifelong friends (more than 30 years!), including Yvonne Cadd Everly, Angela Simpson Leuice, Leah Eaton Humphreys, Ali Aguarino, Em Perez, Lynette Tackett Wortham, Ruth Geisler Kostreva, Abe Navarette, among others


24. Am eternally grateful to God for the precious gifts of my husband, Dan; my children, Ashley, Justin & Erin; my grandkids, Josiah, Keilah, Jonah (still in the womb) and our 4th (still in the womb & sex still unknown)!!


25. Am extremely thankful that my parents are still around to see and enjoy their great grandkids!!

Our 1st Valentines' Day in Cebu

i just have to share what happened on our 1st Valentine's Day here in cebu... first of all, it RAINED all day. not just sprinkles, but hard rain! february is part of the dry season in the philippines, but this year, this month has been anything but...

saturdays are busy for us because we have chapel in the morning and intro to Greek class @ 130. after Greek class, we just lazed around since it was raining and we really thought that we wouldn't be able to go out that night because of the rain. it started to just drizzle around 5pm, so we agreed to go ahead and take a taxi to the marco polo hotel which is beautifully located where you can see the lights of cebu city on a clear night. i also wanted to check out cafe marco to see if it would be something that we might consider as a venue for the celebration of my parents' 55th wedding anniversary on march 20.

when we arrived at the marco polo, we were told that the cafe marco was fully booked for the evening. needless to say, we felt really dumb going there without checking to see if we could EAT at cafe marco. they were very gracious, however, and, after i explained to them that i was looking for a venue for my parents' anniversary celebration, gave us a little tour of cafe marco. it's really a nice all-you-can-eat restaurant, beautifully laid out, with many food choices -- american, japanese, korean, chinese, filipino. the cost, however, would probably make us go somewhere else: P984 per person!! compare that with grand majestic's dinner rate of ~P500/person or PORT's P299/person...

since we were rejected at cafe marco because we failed to make reservations, we decided to taxi down to PORT seafood restaurant at the waterfront hotel to try our luck there. it was already getting late and dan was getting very hungry. but, when we got to the front door to PORT, the very nice lady standing watch at the door asked us the same question we heard at marco polo: "Do you have a reservation?" dan and i just looked at each and laughed, not believing that, for the 2nd time that night, we were being turned away...! the nice lady told us that they could accommodate us at 9pm...!! dan told me that, at the rate we were going, we would probably end up eating our valentine's dinner @ mcdonalds...! we thanked the nice lady and turned to look for a taxi.

we had just taken a few steps, when, surprise! surprise! she called us back!! apparently, someone had just called and cancelled their reservation, and did we want to come in?!! we hurriedly walked inside before they could change their minds... :-)

we had never eaten at PORT at night -- we've only gone for lunch. we've always enjoyed our meals there, even though the buffet line can get very crowded. but, we were too hungry to care about crowded lines... we were just happy to get seated and finally enjoy a nice Valentine's dinner together -- somewhere fairly decent!!

it was nice to be out on a saturday night with the rest of cebu...! our waiter kept bringing us dishes to try out -- grilled bangus, lechon, buko pandan dessert... of course, we gave him a really good tip...!

next year, if we decide to eat out again, we will definitely make reservations... maybe we'll even try cafe marco!! :-)

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question from "Reflections from a Mother's Heart:"

Describe a memorable Valentine you received

i was 17 and dan and i had just become "boyfriend/girlfriend." NAKS!! i really had NO idea if he would give me anything for valentine's day and wasn't expecting anything. i was outside at FEBC with the rest of our "gang," just hanging out like we usually did after dinner. dan still hadn't arrived from school and we were kinda waiting for him to join us. when he finally came, i was SO shocked when he gave me 3 long-stemmed red roses!! i knew that he really didn't have a lot of money to spend, but it was more the realization that HE REMEMBERED that tugged at my heart!! i dried those 3 roses and they are still in my scrapbook that i put together during my junior & senior years at Faith...!!

dan and i have had many Valentine's days together since i was 17, but i will always remember the thoughtfulness and, yes, the love that he expressed to me that one special night in february!!

The Need to Share Our Blessed Hope in Christ

One of the few things that I enjoy during a 12 hour flight from LA to here is that I can FINALLY catch up on some of the movies that I don’t have time to watch while I’m in the States. And flying an airline that provides you with your own movie screen is great because you can pick and choose those movies.

During this last flight, I watched an independent film entitled “HENRY POOLE is HERE.” According to the movie’s synopsis, this is a comedic drama about a disillusioned man who goes hiding in placid suburbia only to discover he cannot escape the forces of hope. Returning to the middle class neighborhood where he grew up, Henry chooses to live in indulgent isolation. Real life, however, refuses to cooperate with his plans. Nosy neighbors interrupt him with curious visits and prying questions. Then the situation escalates as a stain on Henry's stucco wall is seen to have miraculous powers. His last-ditch hideout becomes a shrine; his backyard turns into an arena for passionate debate about faith and destiny. Seeking anonymous oblivion, cynical Henry Poole instead finds himself right at the center of the human comedy. This modern-day fable investigates the unexpected wonders of the everyday. A faithless man finds hope. A hopeless man finds love. Whether backyard miracles are real or triggered by hope and belief, their personal effects are permanent.

“Henry Poole is Here” was a sharp reminder to me that people around us are always looking for something to believe in. That’s the underlying premise and overarching emotion in the movie. You see that in the next door neighbor’s daughter who hadn’t spoken in over a year, but, after touching what looks like the face of Jesus on the stucco wall, her speech returns. Then there’s the grocery store clerk whose eyesight is restored after she also touches the wall.

The focus of the movie was all about hope but it made me sad to realize how desperately people want to BELIEVE in miracles that they will worship a stain on a stucco wall. Or they will travel to the town of Lourdes in southern France between March to October because they believe the

spring water from the grotto possesses healing properties. I have friends in CA who would travel regularly to Međugorje, a town located in western Herzegovina in Bosnia and Herzegovina. This town is best known due to reported apparitions of the Virgin Mary which appeared to six Herzegovinian Croats since 24 June 1981, and is now visited by pilgrims from around the entire world as a shrine. Being a predominantly Catholic country, the Philippines has more than its share of places where people will travel to be healed or to experience a miracle, like the shrine of Our Lady of Manaoag in Pangasinan.

And yet, here we are, believers in the Lord Jesus. We actually have the true message of hope and yet, are we doing our part to share this message to those around us who are looking for hope in all the wrong places, like in that stain on someone stucco wall that looks like the face of Christ or in Lourdes or in numerous shrines around the Philippines?

But, I also realize that before we can share this glorious message with anyone, we need to live lives that exemplify our hope. That's really our first obligation, to LIVE in hope.

“Hope” is found 131 times in the Bible in 121 verses. At its most basic definition, hope is the Christian's attitude toward the future. Hope is believing God for the future. Hope believes in what God has promised to do. In the Isidro Annotated New Testament, my Dad calls this “an upward and forward hope.” That’s a great way of looking at hope – upward and forward! My dad goes on to say, “As believers in Jesus Christ, we now have a new, positive and glorious future. This is towards the appearance in glory of the Lord Jesus Christ.” This hope that should characterize our lives is a living hope. My dad’s annotation of I Peter 1:3-12 goes on to say, “It is a hope that is certain to be fulfilled. And that hope is our ultimate glorification forever.”

But, why should we live in hope? The short answer is “Because it glorifies God.” Here’s how John MacArthur described it: when we truly trust God for the future, we are affirming by that trust that God is trustworthy and, as a result, God is glorified when we trust Him. As a believer who has received God's grace and who has seen that God was faithful in the past and is faithful in the present, we should live in the hope that God will be faithful in the future. By having this mindset, we give Him glory.

When we live lives that show to the world our hope in a God who keeps His promises to us, a covenant keeping God, this hope glorifies God and the result is that others around us who don’t know the Lord will want to know how they, too, can have this same hope.

So, here we are in a new year that God has graciously given to us – a new year that always starts out with great promise and bright hopes for a good future. Counting today, we have 336 more days to share our faith with people who are looking for meaning in their lives; people who need the Lord; people who need HOPE.

This is the awesome message of HOPE that we must share: that everyone can have “a new, positive and glorious future” by putting their faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ. This is the best and the most loving thing that we can do for others – to share with them this blessed hope of Christ’s love and His promise that if they will put their trust and faith in Him, they, too, will be with Him forever in glory!

So, this is my challenge to myself and to all of us in 2009: may we all have the courage to share our “upward and forward hope” in Christ to everyone whom God brings into our lives. God bless you today and always!

http://www.cnsnews.com/public/Content/Article.aspx?rsrcid=42466

i believe that our new president was placed in his position by God to show Christians that we mustn't keep silent or sit on the sidelines doing nothing when our values are being attacked. and that's what i believe is happening now. check out this article: http://www.cnsnews.com/public/Content/Article.aspx?rsrcid=42466

'Change' We Never Imagined Friday, January 23, 2009By J. Matt Barber

Well, the high-sheen veneer and cult-of-personality euphoria surrounding America's new oratory endowed president looks to be dissolving rather quickly.

While millions had hoped for a political "messiah," it's fast becoming evident that, instead, we've stuck ourselves with an extreme leftist ideologue whose brand of "change we can believe in" is, in fact, "change we never imagined." (Sorry to burst the Barack bandwagon bubble, but I say it like I see it.)

The examples are piling up in terms of the radical pro-abortion polices he's planning to implement, the many-times-failed Marxist fiscal policies he's promised to test yet again, and – relative to his national security goals – the noxiously naive peacenik policies that have Mahmoud and Osama giggling themselves to sleep at night.

But on issues involving marriage, family and sexual morality, Obama's been even more brazen than some of his most ardent detractors could have expected.

Literally within minutes after he took the oath of office, the official White House webpage was updated – under the heading of "The Agenda: Civil Rights" – to detail his wholesale "support for the LGBT (homosexual activist) community."

His stated plans include the following: Defeating all state and federal constitutional efforts to defend the millennia-old definition of natural marriage from attacks by "gay marriage" activists.

Repealing the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) signed into law by Bill Clinton in 1996. This is the only line of defense keeping all 50 states from being forced to recognize so-called "same-sex marriages" from extremely liberal states like Massachusetts and Connecticut.

Repealing the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy despite the fact that the vast majority of military commanders and personnel say it will dangerously disrupt unit cohesion and troop morale.

Passing constitutionally dubious and discriminatory "hate crimes" legislation, granting homosexuals and cross-dressers exclusive rights – denied other Americans – based on sexual behaviors that are deviant, changeable, and widely regarded both here and around the world as immoral.

Passing the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), which would force business owners (religious and otherwise) to abandon traditional values relative to sexual morality under penalty of law.

Creating intentionally motherless and fatherless homes and sexually confusing untold thousands of children by expanding "gay adoption."

The gravity of this situation cannot be overstated. Right out of the chute, Obama has told the world that he is signing off, without exception, on every demand of the extremist homosexual and transsexual lobbies.

The radical homosexual agenda and religious/free-speech liberties cannot occupy the same space. It's a zero-sum game. When 1-2 percent of the population is granted exclusive rights based on the aforementioned deviant sexual proclivities and changeable sexual behaviors – to the detriment of everyone else – that's called tyranny of the minority.

Obama recently said, "I don't want to pit Red America against Blue America. I want to be President of the United States of America." Well, Mr. President, remember that whole “actions versus words” cliché? Your words ring hollow and your actions speak volumes. Every policy you promise to implement does exactly what you've denounced. Both your actions and your words very much pit Red America against Blue America.

For all the talk of "hope," "change," and "coming together," it's becoming abundantly clear that Barack Obama's administration will be the most leftist, divisive and discriminatory in recent memory. I suspect the immediate, stark and in-your-face revisions he's made to the White House website are a metaphor for what we can expect, in terms of broader policy, from his administration.

Obama said in an August 19, 2008 speech: "Change doesn't come from Washington. Change comes to Washington." Well, radical change in the form of Barack Obama has certainly come to Washington. Not just in terms of the man's skin color – which is historic and most encouraging – but in terms of his exceptionally extreme and demonstrably dangerous liberal policies (not so encouraging).

So it would seem that change does in fact "come from Washington." Change more radical than our nation has ever seen. Change our founders could have never imagined.

People of faith, conservatives, and those of you with traditional values: hold on to your hats – it's going to be a bumpy four years.

Victoria Wilson Darragh

my dear friend, victoria wilson darragh, is on her way to getting her 2nd book published. this one is about healing for the brokenhearted, about victoria's journey to healing from the devastation of her marriage.

i was privileged to write the foreword to the book. i can't share the complete version as it doesn't belong to me anymore -- it's victoria's -- but, i'll share an excerpt below and, hopefully, many will buy victoria's new book once it's published and my foreword will be there for all to read...

i showed the foreword to ashley on sunday. she thought i came on a bit strong regarding my own journey to healing, but I think she understood that it was important for people to know why i am endorsing victoria's book -- because victoria help me through the years of healing from my own broken marriage and this book gives valuable insight into how the Lord can help someone cope with a personal disaster of such magnitude.

expect this book to be available in the US by the end of february, the Lord willing!!

This is a book that will make you think: about what’s really important in life; about how God wants you to handle your present situation; and about the many ways God reveals Himself and His love and care for you in and through the trials you are currently facing.

This book reminds me that healing from personal tragedy IS possible. Further, it reminds me that God is still a God of miracles! That’s an awesome truth that shines through in every page of this wonderful book!