be there...

 

from Ralph Waldo Emerson

What is success?

To laugh often and much;

to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;

to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;

to appreciate the beauty;

to find the best in others;

to leave the world a bit better,

whether by a healthy child,

a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;

to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.

This is to have succeeded!

Maeve Binchy

 i LOVE her novels and these pearls of wisdom prove why...

Maeve Binchy was an Irish novelist, playwright, short story writer, columnist and speaker. Her novels were characterized by a sympathetic and often humorous portrayal of small-town life in Ireland and surprise endings.

1. "I don't have ugly ducklings turning into swans in my stories. I have ugly ducklings turning into confident ducks."

2. "The great thing about getting older is that you become more mellow. Things aren't as black and white, and you become much more tolerant."

3. "Nobody is ordinary if you know where to look."

4. "We are all the heroes and heroines of our own lives. Our love stories are amazingly romantic; our losses and betrayals and disappointments are gigantic in our own minds."

5. "If you don't go to a dance, you can never be rejected, but you'll never get to dance either."

6. "The whole art of life is knowing the right time to say things."

7. "We're nothing if we're not loved. When you meet somebody who is more important to you than yourself, that has to be the most important thing in life, really. And I think we are all striving for it in different ways."

8. "I think you've got to play the hand that you're dealt and stop wishing for another hand."

9. "We get courage from other people's stories. We get consolation from the way they tell about failures, disappointments and crises. It means that we are not alone."

10. "Learn to type. Learn to drive. Have fun. Write postcards. (Letters take too long and you won't do it; a postcard takes two minutes.) Be punctual. Don't worry about what other people are thinking. They are not thinking about you. Write quickly. (Taking longer doesn't usually make it better.) Get up early. See the world. Call everybody by their first name, from doctors to presidents. Have parties. Don't agonise. Don't regret. Don't fuss. Never brood. Move on. Don't wait for permission to be happy. Don't wait for permission to do anything. Make your own life."

for my kids... when i'm gone...

If It Brings You Comfort - Keep It!

Even after your loved one is gone, their clothes may hang neatly in the closet, bookshelves may be arranged just as they left them, toothbrush and razor still in the bathroom.

Sorting through these objects, however inanimate or innocuous, can be particularly difficult when you're grief-stricken.

When the emotional element of loss is added to what to do with these items it can become increasingly difficult and stressful to make a decision.

My advice... when in doubt... keep it! You can never get it back once it’s gone. Grief has so much pain already, why add to it by regretting giving something away before you're ready?

Give yourself all the time you need. Set aside time to decide what to do with your loved one's belongings when you're feeling mentally and physically strong enough to make decisions.

Here's the thing... if it brings you comfort... keep it!

If an item is no longer serving you consider donating it or giving it to someone who may appreciate having a keepsake of your loved one.

The process of dealing with a loved one's belongings is so personal. What works best for you is the only plan that will work.

Hold on to everything you're not yet ready to part with or make a decision about, but when it comes time to select which items to keep, choose what you want to live with, enjoy and appreciate.

The things you keep should bring joy to your life and should make you smile. They should make you think of your loved one with happiness when you see them. If they bring you painful memories (like all those medical supplies stacked in the corner of the bedroom), toss them!

Some people have a “just donate everything and move on” personality and others have an “I need to keep everything” personality, and that's okay. Everyone's grief is unique to them and how they process it is a personal decision. There's no right or wrong way to do it.

It's up to you... and only you... what to keep... and what to give away.

Gary Sturgis - "Surviving Grief"

because we are now entering the twilight years...

 🚩 Between age 55 and the time of death, it is advisable to use the money you have saved. Use it and enjoy it. Don't save it for those who have no idea the sacrifices you made to obtain it. Remember, there's nothing more revolting than a son or daughter-in-law coming up with great ideas to spend your hard-earned savings.

🚩 Warning: This is also a bad time for investments, even if it sounds wonderful or safe. They only bring problems and worries. It's time for you to enjoy life.

🚩 Stop worrying about your children and grandchildren's financial situation, and don't feel bad about spending your money on yourself. You cared for them for many years, and taught them what you can. You gave them education, food, shelter and support. It's now their responsibility to make their own money.

🚩 Keep a healthy life, without much physical effort. Do moderate exercise (like walking every day), eat well and sleep plenty. It's easy to get sick at this age and it becomes harder to stay healthy. This is why you need to stay fit and be mindful of your medical and physical needs. Stay in touch with your doctor, get medical checkups even when you think you are feeling good. Please take care of your health.

🚩 Always buy the best, the most beautiful items to treat yourself. The key is to enjoy your money with your partner. One day, one of you will miss the other, and money will not bring you any comfort; so, enjoy it together.

🚩 Don't stress over the small things. You have overcome so much in life. You have good memories and bad memories, but what matters is the present. Don't let the past train you and don't let the future intimidate you. Must feel good in the present.

🚩 Don't lose sight of fashion trends for your age but keep your own sense of style.
You have developed your own sense of what suits you, so keep it and be proud of yourself. It is part of who you are.

🚩 Always stay up to date: read newspapers, follow the news. Go online and read what people are saying. Make sure you have an active e-mail account and try to use some of those social media. You'll be surprised by the old friends you run into.

🚩 Respect the young generation and their opinions. They may not have the same ideas as you, but they are the future and will take the world on their way. Give advice, not criticize, and try to remind them that yesterday's wisdom still applies today. Never use the phrase: "In our time." "Your time is now." As long as you’re alive, you’re part of the present.

🚩 Some people embrace their golden years, while others become bitter. Life is too short to waste days on sad moments. Spend your time with positive and joyful people and your days will look much better.

🚩 Don’t stress about having to live with your kids or grandkids. Of course, being around family seems great, but we all need our privacy, too. They need theirs and you need yours. Do it only if you feel lonely and really need help or you really don't want to live alone.

🚩 Don't give up your hobbies. If you don't have one, make new ones. You can travel, hike, cook, read, dance. You can adopt a cat or dog, grow a kitchen garden, play cards, checkers, chess, dominoes, golf, etc.

🚩 Talk to people politely and try not to complain or criticize too much, unless you really need it. Try to accept situations as they are when you feel you can't do anything about it.

🚩 Pain and discomfort go hand in hand with age. Try not to dwell on those hurts but accept them as part of life.

🚩 If someone has offended you, forgive them. If you have offended anyone, apologize. Don't carry negative feelings around. It only serves to make you sad and destroy you needlessly. No matter who was right. Someone once said: "Holding a grudge is like eating poison and expecting the other person to die." Don't take this poison. Forgive, forget and move on with your life.

🚩 Laugh. Remind yourself you are blessed. You've managed to have a long life.
Many never make it to this age and some never get to live.

My dear friends, enjoy a quiet life at this stage in your life... Don't stress yourself out... be happy!!!

AND THEN IT IS WINTER...

You know. . . time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years.

It seems just yesterday that I was young, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate. Yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them all. I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams. But here it is... the winter of my life and it catches me by surprise...How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my youth go?

I remember well seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that winter was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like. But here it is...my friends are retired and getting grey...they move slower, and I see an older person now. Some are in better and some worse shape than me... but, I see the great change... Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant... but, like me, their age is beginning to show, and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we'd be.

Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat anymore... it's mandatory! Cause if I don't on my own free will... I just fall asleep where I sit!

And so... now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things that I wish I had done but never did!

But at least I know, that though the winter has come, and I'm not sure how long it will last... this I know... that when it's over on this earth... it's really NOT over. A new adventure will begin!

Yes, I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn't done... things I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I'm happy to have done. It's all in a lifetime. So, if you're not in your winter yet, let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life, please do it quickly! Don't put things off too long!

Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether this is your winter or not! You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life, so, live for today and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember... and hope that they appreciate and love you for all the things that you have done for them in all the years past!

"Life" is a gift to you. The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after. Make it a fantastic one.

LIVE IT WELL! ENJOY TODAY! DO SOMETHING FUN! BE HAPPY! HAVE A GREAT DAY!

REMEMBER.... "It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.

"LIVE HAPPY IN THIS YEAR AND EVERY YEAR!

LASTLY, CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING:
TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN, YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS.

~Your kids are becoming you.......
~Going out is good. Coming home is better!
~You forget names.... But it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!!
~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything.
~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore.
~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch.

~You tend to use more 4 letter words ... "what?" "when?" "what?"
~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.
~You notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!
~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.
~Everybody whispers.
~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet.... 2 of which you will never wear.
~But Old is good in some things: Old Songs, Old movies, and best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!

A WOMAN ...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

Enough money within her control to move out...

And rent a place of her own

even if she never wants to

or needs to...

Something perfect to wear if the employer

or date of her dreams wants to See Her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

A youth she's content to leave behind....

A past juicy enough that she's looking forward to

retelling it in her Old Age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

A set of screwdrivers,

a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

One friend who always makes her laugh...

And one Who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

A good piece of furniture not previously owned

by anyone else in her Family...

Eight matching plates,

wine glasses with stems,

And a recipe for a meal that will make

her guests feel Honored...

A feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

How to fall in love without losing herself

HOW TO QUIT A JOB,

BREAK UP WITH A LOVER,

AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT

RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP...

When to try harder...

And WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

That she can't change the length of her calves,

The width of her hips,

or the nature of her parents..

That her childhood may not have been perfect...

But it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

What she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

How to live alone...

Even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

Whom she can trust,

Whom she can't,

And why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

Where to go...

Be it to her best friend's kitchen table...

Or a charming inn in the woods...

When her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

What she can and can't accomplish in a day...

A month...

And a year...

Written by Pamela Redmond Satran