It is my intention to follow this advice and try to write something everyday in my blog. With my personal study of the "Fear not/Do not be afraid" Scripture passages, i should be able to easily write something every day.

FEAR NOT in 2016

i shared a post on facebook awhile back that stated there are 365 "fear not" verses in the Bible. since that's one of my personal themes for 2016, i thought i'd see where those verses are located. so far, i've found 173 verses and plan to keep looking until i find all 365. 

so, here's the first one:
Genesis 15:1--"After these things the word of the LORD came unto Abram in a vision, saying, Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward."
BACKGROUND (from the Isidro Annotated Old Testament): In chapter 14, v. 22, we read that Abram’s victory over the invading Mesopotamian kings was from God. He prayed to God and God answered his prayer. Although he used his army of 318 and his confederates, he still depended upon God for the victory.
 In Genesis 15:1, the word translated “reward” in the KJV is the Hebrew word sacar which more accurately means “wages,” thus, compensation. He who obeys God will be compensated by no less than God Himself. 
PERSONAL APPLICATION:  What God is promising to Abraham when He tells him to "fear not" is that He will protect him; He will guide him; He will be everything that Abraham needs during those times when he is fearful. What's amazing is that this is still God's reminder and promise to us today! That's truly AWESOME!!

the BEST SURPRISE yet from the Lord...!!

Yes, LIFE can surprise us and does… many times! But, when GOD surprises us, it will blow us away!! And, God did just that to Dan and I on Sunday, May 3, 2015. We were blessed by an awesome, inspiring and God-affirming message that Sunday morning at Church of the Open Door in Glendora. Afterwards, we stood chatting outside with some very dear friends of ours. They asked what our plans were for the rest of the day and Dan mentioned that he was planning to visit his Mom in Rialto which is almost an hour’s drive from San Dimas. Dan jokingly said, as he has on many other occasions with other people, that he has to drive slow on the freeway because he’s not sure if our car, a 1992 Toyota 4-Runner which needs a new transmission, will suddenly stop on him while he’s on the freeway…! Our friends then said, “We have a car we can give you.” What?!! They were serious!! What a wonderful, out-of-the-blue and oh-so-generous gift to us!! This was totally God’s grace in action, an example of His unmerited favor to us!

To make this even more incredible, we really had NO idea that we would be needing a nicer and safer car to drive around these Southern California highways. We were happy to have any car to get us around... BUT GOD knew of our need and He was just waiting for the right time to provide one for us!!! He truly is AWESOME!!!

The Infinity Q45T is a dream car for us! Our children say that it is the perfect car for us...!! At this stage in our lives and living off of our pensions and SSS, we would never have been able to afford to buy a car like this, so God decided He would just GIVE us one through the generosity of our dear friends, Greg and Sue!! Every time we get in the Infinity, we are blown away again by Greg and Sue's generosity and give thanks to God for His marvelous provision!

Dan and I are just simple, ordinary people, but we are loved and cared for by an EXTRA-ordinary and AWESOME LOVING GOD!! and God showed us again in a grand gesture how much He really loves us and that He anticipates our needs before we even knew what we needed!!

Is it any wonder then that Dan and I are willing to go anywhere for the Lord? He has always been beside us, behind us and before us! We can do NO LESS than to obey Him and go where He leads, until He sees fit to take us home to Himself!!

TOO IMPORTANT NOT TO SHARE...

5 Indicators of an Evil and Wicked Heart

• Association of Biblical CounselorsAssociation of Biblical Counselors
• 201522 Jan
• COMMENTS266

by Leslie Vernick

As Christian counselors, pastors and people helpers we often have a hard time discerning between an evil heart and an ordinary sinner who messes up, who isn’t perfect, and full of weakness and sin.

I think one of the reasons we don’t “see” evil is because we find it so difficult to
believe that evil individuals actually exist. We can’t imagine someone deceiving us
with no conscience, hurting others with no remorse, spinning outrageous fabrica-
tions to ruin someone’s reputation, or pretending he or she is spiritually committed
yet has no fear of God before his or her eyes.

The Bible clearly tells us that among God’s people there are wolves that wear
sheep’s clothing (Jeremiah 23:14; Titus 1:10; Revelations 2:2). It’s true that
every human heart is inclined toward sin (Romans 3:23), and that includes evil
(Genesis 8:21; James 1:4). We all miss God’ mark of moral perfection. However,
most ordinary sinners do not happily indulge evil urges, nor do we feel good about
having them. We feel ashamed and guilty, rightly so (Romans 7:19–21). These
things are not true of the evil heart.

Below are five indicators that you may be dealing with an evil heart rather than an ordinary sinful heart.  If so, it requires a radically different treatment approach.

1. Evil hearts are experts at creating confusion and contention.

They twist the facts, mislead, lie, avoid taking responsibility, deny reality, make up stories, and withhold information. (Psalms 5:8; 10:7; 58:3; 109:2–5; 140:2;
Proverbs 6:13,14; 6:18,19; 12:13; 16:20; 16:27, 28; 30:14; Job 15:35; Jeremiah 18:18;Nehemiah 6:8; Micah 2:1; Matthew 12:34,35; Acts 6:11–13; 2 Peter 3:16)

2. Evil hearts are experts at fooling others with their smooth speech and
flattering words.

But if you look at the fruit of their lives or the follow through of their words, you will
find no real evidence of godly growth or change. It’s all smoke and mirrors. (Psalms 50:19; 52:2,3; 57:4; 59:7; 101:7; Proverbs 12:5; 26:23–26; 26:28; Job 20:12;
Jeremiah 12:6; Matthew 26:59; Acts 6:11–13; Romans 16:17,18; 2 Corinthians 11:13,14; 2 Timothy 3:2–5; 3:13; Titus 1:10,16).

3. Evil hearts crave and demand control, and their highest authority is their
own self-reference.

They reject feedback, real accountability, and make up their own rules to live by.
They use Scripture to their own advantage but ignore and reject passages that
might require self-correction and repentance. (Romans 2:8; Psalms 10; 36:1–4;
50:16–22;54:5,6; 73:6–9; Proverbs 21:24; Jude 1:8–16).

4. Evil hearts play on the sympathies of good-willed people, often trumping
the grace card.

They demand mercy but give none themselves. They demand warmth, forgive-
ness, and intimacy from those they have harmed with no empathy for the pain they
have caused and no real intention of making amends or working hard to rebuild
broken
trust. (Proverbs 21:10; 1 Peter 2:16; Jude 1:4).

5. Evil hearts have no conscience, no remorse.

They do not struggle against sin or evil—they delight in it—all the while masquerad-
ing as someone of noble character. (Proverbs 2:14–15; 10:23; 12:10;21:27,29;
Isaiah 32:6; Romans 1:30; 2 Corinthians 11:13–15)

If you are working with someone who exhibits these characteristics, it’s important
that you confront them head on. You must name evil for what it is. The longer you
try to reason with them or show mercy towards them, the more you, as the Christian
counselor, will become a pawn in his or her game.

They want you to believe that:

1. Their horrible actions should have no serious or painful consequences.

When they say “I’m sorry,” they look to you as the pastor or Christian counselor
to be their advocate for amnesty with the person he or she has harmed. They be-
lieve grace means they are immediately granted immunity from the relational fallout
of their serious sin. They believe forgiveness entitles them to full reconciliation and
will pressure you and their victim to comply.

The Bible warns us saying, “But when grace is shown to the wicked, they do not
learn righteousness; even in a land of uprightness they go on doing evil and do
not regard the majesty of the Lord (Isaiah 26:10). 

The Bible tells us that talking doesn’t wake up evil people, but painful consequen-
ces might. Jesus didn’t wake up the Pharisee’s with his talk nor did God’s counsel
impact Cain (Genesis 4). In addition, the Bible shows us that when someone is
truly sorry for the pain they have caused, he or she is eager to make amends to
those they have harmed by their sin (see Zacchaeus’ response when he repented
of his greed in Luke 19). 

Tim Keller writes, “If you have been the victim of a heinous crime. If you have
suffered violence, and the perpetrator (or even the judge) says, ‘Sorry, can’t we
just let it go?’ You would say, ‘No, that would be an injustice.’ Your refusal would
rightly have nothing to do with bitterness or vengeance. If you have been badly
wronged, you know that saying sorry is never enough. Something else is required—
some kind of costly payment must be made to put things right.”1

As Biblical counselors let’s not collude with the evil one by turning our attention to
the victim, requiring her to forgive, to forget, to trust again when there has been no evidence of inner change. Proverbs says, “Trusting in a treacherous man in time of trouble is like a bad tooth or a foot that slips” (Proverbs. 25:19). It’s foolishness.

The evil person will also try to get you to believe

2. That if I talk like a gospel-believing Christian I am one, even if my actions
don’t line up with my talk.

Remember, Satan masquerades as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:13–15).
He knows more true doctrine than you or I will ever know, but his heart is wicked.
Why? Because although he knows the truth, he does not believe it or live it.

The Bible has some strong words for those whose actions do not match their
talk (1 John 3:17,18; Jeremiah 7:8,10; James 1:22, 26). John the Baptist said
it best when he admonished the religious leaders, “Prove by the way you live that
you have repented of your sins and turned to God” (Luke 3:8).

If week after week you hear the talk but there is no change in the walk, you have
every reason to question someone’s relationship with God.

Part of our maturity as spiritual leaders is that we have been trained to discern
between good and evil. Why is that so important? It’s important because evil
usually pretends to be good, and without discernment we can be easily fooled
(Hebrews 5:14).

When you confront evil, chances are good that the evil heart will stop counseling
with you because the darkness hates the light (John 3:20) and the foolish and
evil heart reject correction (Proverbs 9:7,8). But that outcome is far better than
allowing the evil heart to believe you are on his or her side, or that “he’s not that
bad” or “that he’s really sorry” or “that he’s changing” when, in fact, he is not.

Daniel says, “[T]he wicked will continue to be wicked” (Daniel 12:10), which begs
the question, do you think an evil person can really change?

http://www.crosswalk.com/faith/spiritual-life/5-indicators-of-an-evil-and-wicked-heart.html

this really resonated with me...

I’ve always considered myself an independent person.

For the most part, I keep my worries and troubles to myself, and I do whatever it takes to help myself succeed.

I was never supposed to be the person who couldn’t handle a situation. I was never supposed to have to lean on others for support.

I was supposed to be strong.

This was my mentality for a long period of my life. As my second year of college comes to a close, I now realize being independent doesn’t mean suppressing the things that taunt you in order to prove yourself.

The past 6 months or so of my life haven’t been all daisies and sunshine.

I felt alone, I was scared and the only way to overcome any of it was to turn to those I’m closest to for help.

Depression took over my life for a long time, but it did not become my identity.

There were many days when simple things like getting out of bed were the most daunting tasks imaginable.

My eyes turned into leaky faucets, my emotions were so overwhelming they went numb, the motivation to go forward was nonexistent and any strength I had disappeared — or so I thought.

The thing about depression is despite how it feels at the time, it makes you a stronger person.

For months, my mind was focused on all the aspects of my life I felt were weighing me down.

Along with the help of my closest friends, what helped me get through that was realizing those particular aspects of my life I felt so negatively toward were not, in fact, failures; they were, and are, the things that make me me.

Everyone has issues because, well, nobody is perfect. We are raised to confine personality traits within what society deems as “successful.”

The truth is, who the hell has the authority to tell you that one aspect of your life is the definition of who you are?

You failed that quiz you studied really hard for? You did your best, and that’s what matters. You’re not a failure.

That person you have such strong feelings for is dating someone else? That sucks, but you’re not unlovable. You’ll find the right one.

You don’t like the way you look? You’re beautiful because you’re unique; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, not even yourself.

You are not your grades; you are not a failed relationship; you are not a conventional standard of society; and I am not my depression.

We are individuals getting through life the best way we know how, one day at a time.

We all have obstacles to overcome, but the way to get through them is to realize attitude is everything.

There will be numerous times when life gets you down and seems to just kick the sh*t out of you, but that’s okay.

The further you fall, the higher you fly. The key to success is doing what’s best for you and sticking to what will ultimately make you happy and help you grow.

As messed up as it sounds, depression is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

I never really understood why other people in my life let it consume them for years at a time, but now I can empathize.

When depression hits, it hurts, and it hurts badly — mentally, physically and emotionally.

Overcoming the depression is, by far, my greatest accomplishment.

The fight is not over, but now I know what true strength is. I know despite how independent I may think I am, it does not compromise the fact I am a human being and sometimes, I need help.

Loved ones are in your life to help you become better, not to bring you down.

Life has this really f*cked up way of knocking us down and then bringing us back up, just to repeat the cycle. But, here’s the thing: That’s what makes it beautiful.

Everyone needs the yin to his or her yang and the darkness to the light in order to appreciate the good things life has to offer.

The only true failure is giving up on yourself.

from http://elitedaily.com/life/depression-helped-improve-life/1017211/

CLOSED DOORS...

WOW!! this article was SPOT ON!! yeah, i wish i'd known all this before we returned to the States in 2012. (especially #7!!) but, then... we had NO IDEA when we left Cebu in October 2012 for what was supposed to be a short vacation to visit our kids and grandkids, that we would not return, that we would be ORDERED NOT to return for reasons that were made up and out and out lies... but, through it all, God has been faithful and we've survived and are even better and stronger because we have survived and come out on the other side of what was a very painful experience!!

To all of you who have recently returned after living overseas, you have a special place in my heart because not too long ago, I was walking in your shoes.  So here it is…my letter to those returning from the field to tell you what I wish someone had told me when I first returned.

8 Things I wish Someone Had Told Me Before I Moved Back After Living Overseas

1)  “I am sorry.”

I am sorry that this next season of your life is going to be a really hard one!  {I could say it in a nicer way…but I don’t think it will help to sugar coat it}.  Maybe not for everyone, but for most people who’ve lived overseas, moving back to their home country is the hardest part of the whole experience {yes, even harder then dealing with the crazy aspects of living in another country}.

I am very sorry that you are finding yourself in this season because it is a hard journey.  Not a journey that many people will understand, and not a journey I would wish on someone {but a journey that I am thankful for…now a few years down the road}.

I tell you this because I wish someone had told me that it is normal for the transition to be very hard.  I wasn’t going crazy.  Other people have found moving back to the US after living overseas to be quite a challenge too. 

I am also sorry for the hard things you are bringing back that others may not be saying I’m sorry for.  I want to take a minute to acknowledge some of those things.  You are not alone in this journey even if you feel like it.

• I am sorry for the grief of leaving all the aspects of your life as it has been.
• I am sorry for the loneliness you may feel for a while.
• I am sorry for the days you have to watch your kids sort out the confusion of reentry.
• I am sorry for the stories you would love to share but don’t get too because few people will sit and listen long enough, or they are stories that might be misunderstood in your new context.
• I am sorry for the loss of friendships overseas…and the loss again in the states as you realize that old friendships may not return to what they were.
• I am sorry if you feel like you church or supporters or agency have forgotten about you now that you are no longer living overseas.
• I am sorry for the days when you feel like you’ve gone from having an amazing job that makes a difference in the world to not knowing what you are supposed to do next.
• I am sorry if you feel like you are trying to clean up a mess someone else has made in your life.
• I am sorry for the hard things that may have happened overseas.  The things you aren’t sure how to talk about.  The things you aren’t sure what to make of.  I am sorry for the complicated and painful parts of your story that may not have a perfect ending.
• I am sorry if you’d really rather not be in the states, but are finding yourself here anyways.
• I am sorry for the way your emotional and mental health may be affected by reentry.
• I am sorry for the things you left unfinished and for the part of you that is still in another country.
• I am sorry if God seems very far away and your faith feels out of whack in this new reality.
• I am sorry for all the moments of awkwardness and confusing as you sort out your identity.

I am sorry for the hard season you find yourself in, but there is hope.  You may someday wake up and find that this season has had moments you are thankful for.

2)  This season is not forever.

I know it may feel that way, but hang in there.  Give it time.  How much time?  I wish I could tell you.  It’s different for everyone, but it will take longer then you would like it to.  For a long while, I felt like I wasn’t overseas that long so why is this so hard.  So whether you define short as six months or three years, it can take longer than you think it will to feel like you are in a place of thriving and not just surviving.

If there is one thing I would say about re-entry it is:  you can’t rush it.  You just have to keep living each day {even when they seem very boring and unexciting} and pursing growth and healing…and eventually {a very long eventually} you will wake up in a different place.  Trust in the power of time {as long as you are pursing growth and healing}.  It really can work miracles.  I wish someone had told me it would take 5+ years for me to feel like I was back to a place of emotionally thriving.  I wouldn’t have been so hard on myself to speed up the process.

3) You are grieving.

Make a list of all the things you’ve recently lost or given up in the last year.  It’s probably a long one.  Grief is confusing and unpredictable.  One day you are doing great, the next day you are crying because you can’t figure out how to load a dishwasher or operate a soda machine in a restaurant in the US.  Grief is not fun to live through, but it does eventually become less.  I wish someone had told me to talk to people who have recently experienced grief about their experience.  As I’ve done this, I’ve realized that we have some similarities in our journey.  I wish someone had told me sooner that I needed to give myself permission to grieve even if I wanted to jump over that process {which I found you really can’t do…the grief shows up in all kinds of random ways anyways}.  Chances are those around you will not be making room for you to grieve.  They will have moved on, and assumed you have too, but make time and space for appropriately grieving what you’ve lost.  It may be hard, but it will help.

4) Give yourself permission to just be.

I know that for a long time people have looked to you as the person who’s supposed to have it figured out.  Here is permission to not have your whole life figured out in one week or one month or even two years.  Here is permission to just survive for a while.  Here is permission to just do what you are able for today.  Here is permission to celebrate the little accomplishments {even if they don’t seem big to other people}.  Here is permission to not have all the answers about what happened overseas or what you are doing next.  Here is permission to take a season focused on recovery and not on serving.  Here is permission to just be yourself {even if it is a messy and confused you}.

I wish someone had told me that the answer to re-entry was not figuring out something to do that would give me a new identity {whether that looks like a job, a volunteer opportunity, a new church to attend, a field of study to pursue, the right neighborhood to live in} but rather just being myself in this new place.  I needed permission to just be for a while without the pressure to have a cool answer to the question “what’s new with you?” Here is permission for you to embrace living in the awkward and confusing season of you life.  Learning to be someone who is OK with living in the midst of the messiness of life is a powerful gift that re-entry can give you.

5)  Sometimes re-entry can affect your emotional and mental health.

If you find yourself experiencing emotions or dealing with depression or anxiety that you have never dealt with before, this is sometimes a part of the re-entry journey {not for everyone but for some}. I wish someone had told me that it’s not uncommon for expats in re-entry to find themselves dealing with burnout, depression, anxiety, PTSD or PTSD type symptoms, etc.  Stress has real physiological and emotional effects on our lives.  So, if you are feeling like your emotional and mental health seem a bit off kilter, you are not alone.  Perhaps you don’t feel like you’ve experienced anything all that traumatic that would warrant what you are feeling now, but the reality is that living internationally is a really high stress job, and it’s OK {and even good} to recognize that and bring the tools into your life that will help you build your resilience and process your experiences well.   I wish someone had told me that I was not out of the ordinary to be dealing with depression and PTSD type symptoms.  That I was not going crazy.  That this was only a season.  That I wasn’t doing something wrong that was causing me to feel this way.  That I didn’t need to feel ashamed {more about that in this blog post} that I was struggling.  That I was not less of a Christian because I was struggling.

I wish someone had given me permission to be proactive if I found myself struggling.  While it’s true that time is a great healer, some things don’t just get better over time.  Many expats in re-entry find themselves benefiting from some professional guidance.  So if you are struggling here is your permission to be proactive…GO…do it!  Whatever this looks like for you.  Find a counselor, psychiatrist, physician, mental health professional who can help you figure out what’s going on and equip you with the tools you need to work through how stress is currently affecting your life.  I wish someone had told me sooner that it’s OK to find a counselor.  {A little secret I’ve discovered since…most expats in re-entry I know have benefited from a good counselor.}

Sometimes we wonder: is what I’m experiencing normal re-entry stuff or is it more than that?  We wait to seek out a professional because we think maybe it will get better, maybe this is just reverse culture shock.  If you are wondering this, here is my suggestion:  make an appointment with a good counselor and ask them.  {here’s a directory of therapists who have experience working with expats in re-entry}  They will be able to talk about your symptoms and see what might be going on.  It’s better to err on the side of caution, and if you find out it’s just normal re-entry stuff then you will probably find tools to help with that too.

6) The re-entry season is an opportunity to connect with God in new ways.

One of the greatest gifts I’ve received from my re-entry journey is a deeper connection that I have formed with God through this complicated season.  Don’t let me paint a wrong picture, it has not been a nice warm journey with God all the time.  There have been some very rocky places, but sometimes when you can’t explain what’s going on inside of you to others…it leaves room for talking with Jesus about it {or yelling at Him on occasion}.  I wish someone had told me that it’s OK to be honest with God about whatever it is you are feeling.  {Someone actually did tell me this eventually, and it really did help}.  You may be really angry with Him or feeling really distant from Him.  That is OK.  Be honest with God.  He can take it.

I also wish someone had told me that your spiritual life may look different then it has before. You may for a season feel differently about your relationship with God.  You may feel distant.  You may feel a lack of excitement.  You may find that the ways you used to connect don’t help.  That’s OK.  I am so thankful for people in my life who encouraged me to find new ways to connect with God, and to give myself grace to just be who I was for a while.  I have also been amazed to sit back and watch as slowly, in subtle ways, over time, God has shown up for me in ways that I have needed.  And this is why I can say that I have now been able to connect with Him in a deeper way because in times of my life when not even I knew what I needed He has shown me in a little yet beautiful ways that I am not alone on this journey.

7) You may never understand exactly what happened on the field.

{This one is especially for those who are coming back after complicated situations}.  I know you would like to understand fully what happened, but I wish someone had told me that it may never all make sense. {I might have tried less to figure it out}.  You may never know why.  You may never know the answers to the what ifs.  You may never know what the effects of your ministry will be.  It’s OK to wrestle through your questions because they are good questions to ponder, but you probably won’t ever know all the answers.  Eventually it won’t matter so much.

Along with this, if you’ve had a complicated experience sometimes a challenging part of re-entry is the anxiety that comes with having to see people or places again who are connected to your former life overseas.  This is something I get asked about a lot:  “What do I do?  My former coworker is coming into town, and I just don’t know if I have the emotional energy to see them.”  It may not even be that you had a bad relationship with that person it’s just that it’s more then you can handle right now.  I wish someone had affirmed that it was OK to take some space from the people or things that are hard until you are ready.  If you can’t say no altogether, meet in a neutral place for a set amount of time.  Then you know what you are signing up for.

8)  You will not be the same person ever again.

That is a good thing!  I know it is hard today to see the good in all this, but one of the best things that someone did tell me when I first moved back was:  “There are things you will gain out of this season of your life that you can’t gain any other way.”  It is true.  Re-entry is hard.  But it has given me gifts that I wouldn’t exchange even if I could get out of living through that season of my life.  One day {in what will probably seem like forever from right now} you will wake up in a new place…realizing that you have gradually been sorting out your identity and working through and processing things.  And your hard work has paid off!

So…hang in there friend!  Good can come out of this complicated season.

http://www.rockyreentry.com/letter-returning-missionaries-wish-someone-told-first-moved-back-us/